The best long-distance toys, picked by situation

Every device here can be controlled by a partner over the internet, from any distance, through the manufacturer's app. That part is settled. What differs is everything around it: whether the device is worn or held, whether it can go out of the house, whether both partners feel something or only one, and whether it is still useful when you are finally in the same room. So rather than a ranking, these are picks for the situations people are actually in.

If you are starting out: Lovense Lush 4

The Lush is Lovense's best-known long-distance device, and the fourth generation is the current one. It is worn rather than held, so the partner wearing it has nothing in their hands while the other controls it. Lovense quotes up to 350 minutes of battery at low intensity, a full charge in 45 minutes, and about an hour of use from five minutes on the charger, which matters when a call starts sooner than planned. It is IPX7, so it can be rinsed clean.

The trade-off: battery life falls to around two hours at high intensity, and the Lush 3, still on sale, does most of the same for less. Our comparison of the two covers when the older model is the better buy.

If the Lush 4 sounds too big: Lovense Lush Mini

The same app, the same long-distance control and the same waterproofing, in a shorter and lighter body: 138 mm against 160 mm, and 58 g against 75 g. It also charges a little faster, in 40 minutes.

The trade-off: less battery, up to 236 minutes against the Lush 4's 350, and a slightly shorter Bluetooth range between the device and its own phone. Fit is the deciding question, not features.

If it will be worn out of the house: Lovense Ferri or We-Vibe Moxie+

Both are panty vibrators held in place by a magnet, built for discretion rather than power. The Ferri is Lovense's, marketed as quiet enough for public wear, and works in the same app as the rest of the Lovense range. The Moxie+ adds a small wireless remote alongside the We-Vibe app, which is useful when your partner happens to be nearby, lasts up to two hours, and comes with a spare magnetic clip.

The trade-offs: both are external only, and how securely they stay put depends on the underwear. The Moxie+'s magnet is strong enough to be a hazard near pacemakers and similar implants. Its remote only works nearby; across distance, control goes through the app like any other device here.

If you both want to feel each other: Lovense Nora and Max 2

Most long-distance control runs one way: one partner operates, the other responds. The Nora and the Max 2 work in both directions at once. The Max 2's contraction and vibration drive the Nora's rotation and vibration, and the Nora's movement drives the Max 2. It is the best-known two-way pairing in the category, and our guide to paired devices explains how it works.

The trade-offs: you are buying two devices, and both are held rather than worn. The Max 2 weighs 750 g and is IPX6, so its sleeve comes out for cleaning but the unit cannot be rinsed under a tap. Battery runs from 95 to 215 minutes on the Max 2 and up to 170 on the Nora.

If you are together some of the time: We-Vibe Chorus

Long-distance relationships have visits, and a device that only works apart sits in a drawer during them. The Chorus is a wearable couples vibrator designed to be worn during sex, with a handheld Squeeze Remote for when you are together and the We-Vibe app for when you are not. We-Vibe offers a two-year warranty and a 100-day return guarantee when bought direct.

The trade-off: it sits at the top of the price range, and wearable couples devices fit some bodies better than others, whatever the adjustment. The We-Vibe Sync 2 is the earlier, simpler design, without the remote and with up to two hours of battery.

If vibration feels too direct: Lovense Tenera 2

The Tenera 2 uses air-pulse suction instead of contact vibration, and keeps full long-distance control in the Lovense app. At 43 dB by Lovense's figure, it is not the quietest device here, and it is IPX7.

The trade-off: up to 78 minutes of use and a 70-minute charge, the shortest runtime among these picks. Suction depends on the seal, so position matters more than with a vibrator.

If the partner being controlled has a penis: Lovense Max 2 or Edge 2

The Max 2, already above as half of the two-way pair, works on its own too: a partner anywhere can control its contraction and vibration. The Edge 2 is an adjustable prostate massager with two motors controlled separately in the app, up to 130 minutes of battery and IPX7 waterproofing.

What we left out, and why

• The Lovense Solace Pro, an automatic stroker that can follow a partner's device. It is the most expensive and heaviest Lovense device we cover, at 1.2 kg, which makes it a specific choice rather than a general pick.
• The OhMiBod blueMotion NEX|3, a couples ring with long-distance control. Its one hour of battery is the shortest in our catalogue.
• The OhMiBod Foxy, whose app combines device control with video calls and chat. That convenience concentrates more personal data with one company, and the official page omits its material, battery life and water resistance.